So drunk its hurt
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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