I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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