Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Who died my cat blue again?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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