Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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