I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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