On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize