You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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