Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
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i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
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And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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