Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
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You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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