Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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