I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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