my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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