you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize