if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize