Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize