Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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