based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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