I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it glows. i had to have it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize