just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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