At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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