this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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