I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
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throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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