I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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