I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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