dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize