You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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