Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She bit a glass in half.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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