R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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