yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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