how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize