im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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