I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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