I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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