grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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