in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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