Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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