bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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