I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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