the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize