Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
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You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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