I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize