in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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