I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
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Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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