She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize