It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
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I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize