what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize