so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
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What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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