Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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