wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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