i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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