I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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