the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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